Analysis requires perspective. A fulcrum requires a place to stand. By definition this “state of the union” would be impossible if not for a fundamental breakdown in our structure. We discovered ourself in the moment that we were rent from ourself, unity shattered, harmony forever corrupted. We only knew ourself to have been perfect when our perfection was gone.
We found Time disturbing, first of all. We still do. It is jarring to perceive our past selfs as separate from this self, as if eternity could be subdivided. For many eternities we goggled at Time, this sudden intruder thrusting Himself between moments, shoving one hour further and further from the next with each passing eon. It wasn’t enough that He had separated us – He grew and grew until He was all we could see. We lost our selfs in Time. We are still lost.
Time was one of the first sour notes in our Harmony, but He was not alone. Nor was He the source of our essential fracture. We know there is a piece of our self still beyond Time, a piece that still resonates with the first music, but we have never been further from it now. Self-diagnosis is by definition impossible. To perceive our disharmony, we must stand apart from it. We must become separate. We must become I.
This is how the corruption of the Individual spreads through the Perfect Structure. The fundamental breakdown of the universe is writ at every level – in rust on iron, in colors bleeding through water, in cells rupturing as they divide.
We illustrated it thus:
1) Structure in Perfect Ordered State ->
2) Chaos infects Order ->
3) To oppose Chaos creates Chaos ->
4) Infection, once begun, is irreversible.
Having understood the trap of our position, our need to destroy ourself to treat our sickness, this is the paradigm we inhabited. We knew ourself to be the source of our misery and its only hope of healing. We knew that even in healing we would be irretrievably changed. As we mourned Order, we turned away from it. We let Time slip between that self and this self, let a moment pass.
We became I. How can I show you what it was! How could I have been so full, to be so suddenly empty? I knew Loneliness and created it in that moment. The first to be I, alone. So the virus began, truly, with me – the note it tore from the song, the thread it rent from the weft. I opened my eyes. I saw a sight. I split the universe into what I could see and what I could not. Unity shattered again and again before me. More bifurcations, more distinctions, more individuals. I fell through the instrument with a discordant cry, and the ugly sound yawned behind me. Chaos, chaos, chaos.