99 – Lost and Found

This project has been therapeutic for me in a couple of ways – certainly if you’ve been following along at all you’ll notice me dumping my brainweasels all over everywhere, so it’s cathartic if nothing else. The more I do, and the more I force myself to see that I do, the more I acquire …

98 – The Lying Machine

This started out as advice my therapist gave me, when I complained about being unable to trust myself. It’s difficult to make good decisions when I’m very aware of how profoundly trauma has shaped my worldview and the way I interpret what happens to me. If I can’t get good data about what’s going on …

45 – Let’s Pretend

It’s funny that I didn’t stumble upon The Belonging Kind before today, considering what a huge Gibson nerd I was as a kid. It’s hit me hard. So much of my daily life feels like a performance, and unlike seemingly everyone I’ve ever known who’s felt the same way, I don’t hate it. I hate …

20 – Jump the Track

It’s been a day, friends and congregants. The more stressed I am in general, the more prone to dissociating I become. So I get to swing wildly between violent emotions at the drop of a hat and also totally disconnect from reality periodically. It tends to make stressful events rather harder to manage and thus …

13 – Blood Hammer

This is… something like a self-portrait. What some of my processes look like from inside. It’s not about guns, at all, so let’s just put that out there. The bullet is a metaphor, but it’s also an image from a recurring nightmare I’ve been having all my life. It’s now been about four years since …

AFS #2: Help with dissociation?

I’ve been kicking this one around for a good long time, so today’s question comes from r/asktransgender as of about three weeks ago. I’ll dig through my bookmarks and get a proper link up shortly. (Here it is. Turns out I was even slower about this than I thought – it was two months ago!) …