82 – No Reason

Okay, I’m going to quote from The Fountainhead here, but please don’t get up and leave just yet – I used to be an Objectivist, I’m not anymore, and I’m happy to get into it with you about how poorly most people (including Ayn Rand herself) execute on her philosophy, but none of that is …

79 – Naked

I gotta get back at the Shadowplay rewrite, if only because the world is always and perpetually lacking for decent queer love stories and erotica, and Keshena is a person who, ahem… gets around. She has some of the same issues relating to women that I do, obviously, as she’s the poor puppet I invented …

76 – Low Tide

Don’t strain yourself reading into this, I’ll just tell you – it’s a metaphor for anxiety. That’s what it is. I’m anxious and thinking about sea urchins and writhing clenching things in my belly. The tide goes out again, and leaves behinda pack of things that should by rights have shellsprefer to be protected by …

75 – Roll the Bones

Lot of people from my generation – Millennials, there-I-said-it – tend to say that they don’t have good luck. That, and… how do I put this… trauma attracts trauma? Not always in a negative sense, just, you surround yourself with people who understand what you’re going through, and the ones who stick around will be …

70 – Immersion

Wishful daydreaming about sinking into the earth. When I’m stressed, I imagine water running through my body, through my brain, cooling all the wrinkled, throbbing lobes, washing all the toxins out. Sometimes it helps. I want to get down on my hands and knees,feel the earth between my fingers sink in,clots of soil penetrating the …

68 – Remain

I’m trying to be still. I’m not quite sure what I mean by that, but I’m going to feel my way toward it here, if you’ll hold my hand and bear with me. We’ll get there. I’m not one of those people who can’t be convinced they’re wrong. As a people-pleasing perfectionist, I tend to …

59 – Empty Mirror

So we’ve been tripping on Camus and absurdism and Buddhism and a lot of pot here for about a week – not that any of that is new in the grand scheme of my life, just moved to the front burner and fully boiling at the moment. We have reached a thrilling new stage of …

57 – Fine Print

I have this… pathological aversion to the legal babble that occurs at the end of commercials for cars and drugs. It provokes this violent physical response in me, like I want to scratch my skin off. This is the shitty side of being synesthetic. It’s awesome when a pretty girl takes me to a laser …

55 – Leshya

Keshena’s story gets real sad, real quick, and it doesn’t get much better by the end. The more I work on it, the more I understand the trauma of my own that I was expressing through her, and the errors in her thinking that lead to her never being able to grow beyond that. I …

50 – Kaleidoscope

Owing to, y’know, all the writing, I’ve somewhat neglected to notice what a very visual thinker I am – everything’s keyed to color and shape in a way that is inconvenient when it loses things and fucking wizardry when it succeeds. I read From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler at a tender …